In this unflinching and heartfelt family memoir, Liz Fiedorow Sjaastad chronicles how she confronted the trauma of her past while caring for aging parents who had struggled to care for her.

"Sjaastad bares her soul in this beautifully written book. How she copes is a lesson for us all." —Mindy Greiling, former state legislator

Growing up with a mother with untreated schizophrenia and a turbulent alcoholic father, Liz was left to deal with the daily machinations of her mother's paranoid mind.

Shedding light on the complexities of parental mental health and generational trauma, Liz shares the story of a life led despite the fears of "becoming her parents" and how she shows up for her parents—and herself—when it was needed most.

A transformative read, You're Too Young to Understand offers . . .

• hope for those looking to break the cycle of generational trauma.
• a compassionate and honest look at brain illness and anosognosia.
• a common bond for readers with refugee parents managing their own PTSD.
• insights for those navigating end-of-life decisions with difficult parents.

Giving voice to isolating experiences, this memoir is a vulnerable look at growing up in the shadow of mental illness—and how somehow, we find our way through it.

"Sometimes funny, sometimes heartbreaking, Sjaastad offers the possibility that even without much in the way of a parental roadmap, we can still find our way to love and forgiveness." —Laura Flynn, author of Swallow the Ocean

"Sjaastad's compelling memoir will break your heart, then fill it full of her generosity of spirit." —Kate St. Vincent Vogl, author of Lost & Found: A Memoir of Mothers

Liz Fiedorow Sjaastad was born in 1967 and grew up in Galesburg, Illinois. She received her BA from Knox College in 1989 and her MS from Loyola University Chicago in 1992. After a career in organization development, Liz began writing. She received Minneapolis's Loft Literary Center's Mentor Series Fellowship in 2021.This is her first book.

Her life story has inspired more than just a book—it has fueled her advocacy. Liz spent seven years on the board of Touchstone Mental Health and continues to share her voice to build awareness of schizophrenia to help end the stigma that prevents understanding, research, and important changes for those suffering.

"Liz Fiedorow Sjaastad bares her soul in this beautifully written book, recounting the trauma of being raised by a mother with untreated schizophrenia and an alcoholic father. Even as a helpless nine-year-old, she knows that taboos around schizophrenia eclipse alcoholism, and she fears becoming her mother who converses with the refrigerator. While her father surrenders to alcoholism after his greatest love morphs into his greatest misery, Sjaastad and her siblings experience their own demons. As successful adults, Sjaastad and her sister again feel helpless as they seek assistance for ailing parents from a health care system that refuses to acknowledge anosognosia, a lack of understanding of one's illness. How they cope is a lesson for us all. I strongly recommend this book." — Mindy Greiling, former state legislator and author of Fix What You Can

"With clear, unapologetic prose, Liz Fiedorow Sjaastad lays bare her family's traumas not in an attempt to garner sympathy or naval gaze but to ask her readers to be witness to what it means to struggle both with others and within oneself. You're Too Young to Understand refocuses the telling of an all-too-familiar story of how schizophrenia and generational trauma impacts a family to encompass not only the inherent pain but also the surprising moments of joy. Liz's lovefor her family members—no matter how frustrating those relationships were—shines, as does her writing." — Anika Fajardo, author of Magical Realism for Non-Believers: A Memoir of Finding Family

"You're Too Young to Understand opens at the end of a father's life, in a quiet hospital room. In the corner of that room, the author's mother, who lives with schizophrenia, wonders aloud if an injection of Vitamin C might not cure her husband.This is a book of tiptoes on eggshells. Yet, it is a book of deep beauty: the relationship between Liz and her sister—and the delicate look back into the past—reveal moments of love and a few clues into the mysteries of her parents.Liz leads the reader through the dying and death of one parent while holding the hand of the other, the one with the mental illness left with all the decision-making control. You're Too Young to Understand is a rewarding read for anyone who had a complex childhood relationship with their aging parents, especially as they try to navigate decisions and finances and duty." — Nicole Helget, author of Stillwater and The End of the Wild

"Liz Fiedorow Sjaastad's compelling memoir will break your heart, then fill it full of her generosity of spirit. This author knows how to keep readers turning pages with the anguishing turns of her life story, offered with gentle humor and lyrical writing and, above all, compassion. I will be sure to keep an eye out for all she writes." — Kate St. Vincent Vogl, author of Lost & Found: A Memoir of Mothers

"Being raised by a mother with untreated schizophrenia leaves children living in two worlds. They are worlds that collide: the reality the mother's illness creates, and that of the rest of the world. It's confusing, frightening and disorienting. Fiedorow Sjaastad's journey as such a child, chronicled in You're Too Young to Understand, underscores how children feel the burden of helping their parents.In such circumstances, living a life of meaning and happiness can be a daunting task, and Liz tells the story of how she captured and nurtured such a life—all the while trying to understand, navigate, and help her parents. Among the powerful and life-affirming things this story does is help readers separate the person from their illness. Discovering who her mother and father were—which was too often eclipsed by their illnesses of schizophrenia and alcoholism—made it possible for Liz to care for her aging parents. And it is that task, understanding the humanity of our parents, that is the universal truth told in this powerful and moving memoir." — Xavier Amador, PhD, author of the international bestseller I Am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help!