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Aimless: A Journey to Constructive Masculinity

ISBN: 9781634895668
Binding: Paperback
Author: John D'Agostini
Pages: 208
Trim: 5.5 x 8.5 inches
Published: 10/18/2022

GOLD Award-winner in ‘ Sex & Relationships’ at the Independent Publishing Book Awards (IPPY).
SILVER Award-winner in 'Self-Help’ at the Illumination Book Awards.

In this self-help book for men, John D'Agostini deconstructs—and celebrates—masculinity, reframing "how to be a better man" for modern manhood.

"A raw, gritty exposé of the modern man's struggle to define and embrace masculinity in a healthy way."

—Armaan Gori, MIT '20 electrical engineering and computer science major

Man up. Be tough. Handle it. Quit crying.

Society force feeds these messages on men from the locker room to the board room. Toxic masculinity would have you believe you're not man enough. Societal messaging says that you can't be a man at all.

Neither approach works. So why don't more people have the guts to say this isn't serving us?

Written by men, for men—and endorsed by professionals of all genders—Aimless breaks the code of silence to help men redefine what being a man means to them.

John "Dags" D'Agostini is a men's excellence expert and speaker who has mentored hundreds of people from professional athletes and Olympians to high-risk students and "regular Joes."

By sharing gritty and oftentimes all-too-relatable stories, John D'Agostini disarms traditional ideals of manhood by centering humanity, connection, and how to find purpose in life. In Aimless, he shares hard-earned life lessons from the Army to abuse, and from so-called "success" to a truly meaningful life.

Inside this powerful and timely book, discover how:

  • friendships protect your feelings, but a brotherhood protects your character,
  • hypermasculine environments like locker rooms, the military, and fraternities can still help men level up without losing themselves,
  • cultivating meaningful relationships is more about being authentic than becoming "Mr. Right," and
  • things like vulnerability in relationships and men's emotions aren't soft or for the weak—they're prerequisites for courage and strength.

An antidote to "meninist" culture while still celebrating masculinity, Aimless is the perfect gift for those parenting teen boys, coaching men's sports, and anyone wanting to have tough conversations while meeting men where they're at.

Rediscover masculinity on your own terms and reclaim what once was Aimless.

"This relatable journey of self-awareness unfolds through the power of mentorship and trust—the invaluable 'lifeboats' and 'life jackets' of navigating the tidal waves of life and identity development."

—Rich DiPrima, PsyD, LP, neuropsychologist and supervisor

"The parallels of John D'Agostini's story to my own brought me to the realization that many men silently go through the same struggles."

—Lex Cisler, sales executive, survivalist, author, and collegiate athlete


John "Dags" D'Agostini is the founder of Invictus Leaders, a mentoring program for young men of all backgrounds including juvenile offenders, students, immigrants, professional athletes, and Olympians. John D'Agostini is a graduate from the University of Pennsylvania, served in the Army, and led product development for a curriculum company. He now lives in Minnesota with his wife and two children.


"By telling his story, John D'Agostini outlines some of the most important aspects of masculinity, connects with other men struggling with the same problems, and offers a solution." - Ryne Ogren

"Hugely important lessons through personal stories and reflections that can change lives." - Mason Toye

"Reading Aimless feels more like sitting down with a friend discussing life. D'Agostini covers issues men have experienced but few are willing to talk about, providing lessons to guide readers to become more holistic people." - Noah Roll

"Aimless masterfully navigates the complexities of being a man. Reading it is truly a transformative experience as it left me with a newfound perspective on vulnerability, trust, and masculinity." - Sam Deignan

"John's stories show us how emotional intelligence and personal growth are not only vital to health and life enjoyment, but also essential to top tier performance." - Riley Snow